Good evening, everyone. For those I haven't had the pleasure of meeting yet, I'm Mariah's dad — and I have been looking forward to this moment for a very long time.
Now, they say a parent's job is to teach their children. And I'm proud to say Mariah learned a lot from me. But I'll let you in on a little secret — I think I've learned just as much from her. She's been my sidekick since she was little, and to this day, she still works side by side with me. She's always believing in me, always has my back, always curious about what I'm doing. And I don't think there are many fathers who can say that.
She's been that way her whole life. Strong. Independent. And yes — sometimes a little spicy.
[pause] That last one? That comes from her grandmas. I'm just going to leave that right there.
[let the laughter settle]
For any of you out there with an older daughter — you know the one. The one where if you came running into the house saying, "The neighbor wants to fight me, and his daughter wants to fight you" — she'd be out the door. No hesitation. No questions asked.
[pause] That is one hundred percent Mariah.
[let it land]
And speaking of things that escalate quickly — I want to share one of my favorite memories with her. But to really appreciate this story, I need to set the scene.
At the time, it was just me and the kids. Hardwood floors — no carpet, no throw rugs. Pleather couches. I want you to picture this place. It was a bachelor pad. And not by accident — by design. Because when you've got kids and no carpet... you've got options.
[pause]
So we're all in the kitchen — me, the kids, their friends, everyone just hanging out, snacking, eating takeout. A completely normal evening. Nothing unusual. Nothing suspicious. And I don't know what came over me, but I picked up the ketchup. And I just... let it go. Sprayed everybody.
[pause] The whole kitchen went silent. You could see it on their faces — did he just do that? They could not process that a parent — their parent — had just opened fire at a casual hangout.
And then it clicked. One by one. Oh my God. We're in a food fight. And they ran — grabbed whatever they could find — mustard, mayonnaise, anything that could squirt was suddenly airborne. First they hesitated because they were in shock. Then they got brave. And then there was no going back.
And I'm standing there thinking — this is exactly why I got pleather.
[let the laugh breathe]
Now at some point I had made my way to the living room — I'm not saying I was hiding, but I was definitely in the living room — when all of a sudden the front door bursts open and one of Mariah's best friends comes charging in. This girl had left, gone home, raided her own fridge, and came back fully loaded — ketchup, mustard, eggs — full attack mode. She takes one step onto that hardwood floor... and goes completely down. Slips and lands flat on her butt.
[pause for effect]
And Mariah? She stepped aside. Clean. Like she knew it was coming. That is Mariah in a nutshell — she doesn't get knocked down, and she is very good at not being where the chaos lands.
That same spirit — that grace, that spice, that commitment — is exactly what she's brought to every chapter of her life. She graduated with honors from her school in Los Angeles in marketing. She has been on this beautiful journey with Bremen for over a decade. A decade. That kind of love doesn't happen by accident. That happens because both people chose it, every single day.
Now, Bremen. Let me tell you about this young man. Hardworking. Well-mannered. And according to sources — very handsome. I say "sources" because I was at one of his jobs one day, ran into one of his coworkers, and this man looked at me and said, without hesitation, "Oh yeah, Bremen — the handsome guy."
[pause] I didn't bring it up. That's just what the people are saying.
But beyond the looks — and there's a lot to work with there — what I respect most about Bremen is his heart. He has been a big brother to Mariah's little sisters. Not because he had to. Because that's just who he is. We've been on family snowboarding trips together, and the whole time he's right there watching out for Sophia, making sure she's taken care of. That's just Bremen. Watching him step into that role, naturally, without anyone asking — that told me everything I needed to know about the man my daughter chose.
When our families come together, it is always a special time. Always warmth, always laughter. That doesn't happen by chance — it happens because of the kind of people Bremen and Mariah are, and the kind of family they're building together. I'm proud to welcome him as my son.
Mariah, you have been there for me through everything life throws at you on a random Tuesday afternoon — like a best friend who just shows up. You are, without question, one of the greatest gifts of my life. Having this moment today — watching you walk into this new chapter — it warms me from the inside out. I am so blessed to call you my daughter, and so grateful to witness the woman you have become.
So if everyone would raise a glass — to Mariah and Bremen. May your love always be bigger than your arguments, may your home always be full of laughter, and may you never, ever have a food fight without inviting me.
Cheers.